i just cry. not because im sad or happy, but instead, because im human. because im living. life is beautiful. i beg you not to feel any different. the photographs, the smiles, the drinks, it can all fade away tomorrow without notice. and if it does, i want to say that i love you. i wanted to let you know this just in case. just in case, and thats what scares me. its really what scares me the most. sometimes i sit and i think about life, well not sometimes, more like most times. i think about how many people go on with their lives without knowing the truth. how many people get their flowers while they can still smell them? its pretty scary to think about, huh? it makes me feel better when i keep my belief in love, because part of love is honesty. and i believe love exists, meaning that everybody who loves me will let me know the truth about myself, and of course themselves. for anyone who this applies to, sorry for all the things went wrong. sometimes i do things without thinking. life is one big complication and im still trying to figure things out. i think we all are the same in ways whether we realize it or not. to live and learn is the goal. oh and vise-versa, too. dont feel guilty about anything involving me or doing wrong by me, i forgive you. things happen, and im learning to accept life for its ups as well as its downs. do not worry. just smile for me. :). but, then my mind wanders into the past. you know, i dont think ive experienced this moment of infinity that charlie keeps talking about. i dont really think its possible to feel it unless im with other people that mean the same things to me that i mean to them. i cant wait until that moment finds us. but first, i have to find those people. and i cant help to think of what my sam might look like. i bet she’s really pretty, no wait, i know shes really pretty. on the outside and the inside. she’ll have a smile that would make the stars jealous and the sun seem a bit dimmer. her past wouldn’t matter, only our future. she would have eyes that would make life a bit clearer to me. a voice that sounded so comforting in times of need, and ears that would notice when somethings wrong. my sam would consist of a soul that would make me feel at ease of who i am. sweet she is. thank you for reading. i hope that we’ll be friends for a while. i love you.

love always,

Ratha.

ive been looking for ways to describe you, not to other people, but just to myself. i cant pinpoint what it is about you, but i think ive finally got it. what i love most about you, is that you are so peaceful. everything is so quiet and serene when you get up. its calming, and i appreciate. usually by this point in time, i get caught up thinking a lot. i couldn’t tell you whats been on my mind lately, my thoughts are very scattered. from the past to the future, back to the present, i get caught up in it all. its random to say the least. by now my letters are finding their way to their appropriate mailboxes. its all in good intentions. i think today i will get my hair cut after i come back from the gym. im beginning to get my exercise on as of recent, staying healthy is important. im cleaning up as well, i might get rid of this 19 year old stache, haaaa. maybe, ill have to think about that. my wardrobe has been getting several new additions. i have these stages of what i like to wear, and they always fade out in some sort of way. 07’ was lacoste, 08’ was hurley, 09’ was graphic tees, 10’ was band tees, 11’ button ups, and 12’ has been button ups as well. now ive been heavy into ties and dress shirts. i also find myself moving away from nike/jordan sneakers to more casual/business casual shoes. you know , those clarks, cole haans, just all that. oh and my song writing has been going well, too. its becoming an addiction, in a good way. right now im working on a song entitled, well it has no title yet, but its a song about long distance relationships. its turning out pretty tight I must say. soon youll be able to join me in my journey to my dreams. i cant wait. good morning. be positive, spread love. work hard, stay humble. love.

-Ratha.

its on the wayy, i sent it out already!!! shud be there soon!!!